C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish I only lived at night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
