is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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