reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
