Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
