I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
