Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
