god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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