when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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