but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
