I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
