I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
