Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
