Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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