I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
