Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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