i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
