I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
