I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
