allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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