it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
