What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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