I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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