Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
