you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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