Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my shit smells like andre
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
