how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
