When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
