I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
