he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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