my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I understand Curling. That high.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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