I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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