She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
