Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize