My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
two words: eviction party
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize