Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
