Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
