He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
