so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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