What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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