if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
