For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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