In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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