God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
3pm strippers are depressing
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize