I hate all girls vehemently.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
