Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
