You're completely useless in the revolution.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
