In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
