I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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