all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
