Sponge bath it is.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
