so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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