i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
True strength comes from lack of pants
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
