you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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