I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
